Thursday, December 23, 2010
How to Lose a Girl in 10 Seconds
1.Fart in the middle of that soulful dialogue about her beautiful eyes on a quiet, moonlit evening on the beach. Such sound effects are sure to break up the mood.
2.Dribble while chewing your food open-mouthed. She probably has a dog back home who does the same thing - but then, he still gets to share her bed at night because he looks cuter even while slobbering all over the floor.
3.Pick up the bill at the restaurant and then pass it over to her as soon as she offers to pay or split it - without even the semblance of an argument or something about going dutch. Pick your nose before doing this. Worse, DRIFT (Dig, Roll, Inspect, Flick, Taste)
4.Ride your fancy motorcycle in a stance not unlike a woman giving birth.
5.Stare at her cleavage. When confronted about it, tell her you were just admiring her dolphin pendant (which was actually a flower, but then, who can really tell the difference, eh?) or worse, say, “Tell your b**bs to stop staring at my eyes”.
6.Borrow money from her on your first date. Never return it or say a word about it - even on the off-chance there might be a third or fourth date.
7.Confess that you really cannot remember her name from the previous slightly drunken night when you asked her for her number at the club.
8.Unload on her the heart-breaking story about your ex-girlfriend who was an absolute b!* because she wouldn’t put out.
9.On your very first date, suggest names for the several children you plan on having with her.
10.Share with her material on your as-yet unwritten book titled “A Million Lovable Facts About My Mom”.
With creative inputs from Terror #1 (especially on points 3 and 5) as well as others, who wish to remain anonymous for fear of winning the ongoing “Who Dated The Biggest Dingleberry” competition.
If you liked this, you will definitely like fellow-blogger Bhumika's take on Ball Breaking